And wet and soapy and naked, what the fuck, he’d just wanted to shower, it’s four in the fucking morning, why is anyone even awake let alone in his fucking shower—
“Oh, hello,” Luna greets him, squeezing conditioner into the palm of her hand and then combing it through the tangled—wet, wet, she’s soaking fucking wet—ends of her hair. “Did you need something?”
September comes again, bringing the first chills of Autumn and the looming promise of another cold winter in Great Britain. It also brings a new term and another new year at our countries esteemed educational institution of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The famed establishment has announced several of its
proposals for the forthcoming year. The first and most notable of which is the
introduction of gender neutral dormitories. This is presumably an enormous
announcement for S.P.E.L.L.S (Students Partnership for Equality and Legislation
of LGBTQ+ Students), whom have been campaigning for gender-neutral dormitories
over the past year with the legal help of current Deputy Head Of Magical Law
Enforcement, Hermione Granger.
Granger, 35, famously made a striking speech on
the campaign at the ministry of magic earlier this month, appealing for spectators
to support their cause. The dormitories will come into action the evening of
September 1st, and are the first of it’s kind amongst the 52 wizarding schools
around the world.
Hogwarts has also disclosed assorted staffing alterations,
including the appointment of a new Arithmacy teacher - Arcus Ridgebit. Silvia Chaddesley
also takes over as a cover for Study of Ancient Runes, due to Bathsheda
Babbling’s recent contraction of Dragon Pox.
A familiar face will also be returning to Hogwarts this year, former student and classmate of Harry Potter and Herbology Professor, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas will be assuming the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor, after travelling the world as an Freelance Art Collector and Procurer of Dangerous Artefacts for the Ministry, as well as the greatest and richest.
The Hogwarts Head Girl and Boy for
the year are Chelsea Weatherwax and Teddy Lupin, both of Hufflepuff house.
Lupin shall be familiar with our readers as Harry Potter’s godson; a surprising
election, considering Lupin’s rebellious mishaps over the years.
However
Headmistress Minerva McGonagall repudiated this yesterday in her annual
speech, stating that “Chelsea and Teddy are two dedicated, disciplined and
delightful students, whom I know Helga Hufflepuff herself would he proud to
have in her house.“
The two certainly have their work cut out, bearing in
mind Harry Potter’s eldest son begins his Hogwarts journey this year. The
notably rebellious youth is also Lupin’s godbrother, and has stuck to Potter
tradition, being sorted into Gryffindor house.
Potter and his wife Ginevra, 34,
were seen in Kings Cross earlier this morning to bid their goodbyes to their
eldest son, their famed presence causing quite a stir amongst students and
parents.
With the numerous changes to the forthcoming Hogwarts school year,
here at The Daily Prophet we can only wish its students pleasure and good luck
in their magical education!
